Finders Keepers...

Look at what some nice minion left me this morning...

I ended up eating a few more than I meant to...

Royal Opinion

It's the centenary of International Women's day on the 8th of March and to mark it a project has been created to knit 100 million stitches (to represent the missing women in our society) . To achieve this they want everyone to knit a 6 inch square. As a bear of importance such as me I feel it's important to give back to society and represent the path of right.

So armed with a mother in-law who can knit, needles and ball of wool I knitted.

It took about 5 hours to manage the 6 inches square. It's not perfect despite my prowess as a King it appears knitting is a challenge to me - I'm blaming my lack of opposable thumbs.

Wii Ruler

Greeting loyal minions,

It has been a while since I last graced you with one's Royal musings but one has found oneself too busy with important matters of state to find the time. I am now enjoying a Royal holiday on my own personal island.

Maggie (a local minion) suggested I try my paw at using the 'Wii'. First I had to create a account.

Apparently Polar Bears don't usually play so I had to make do with options available (I will be getting someone to write a letter of complaint to the makers of this 'wii' over this ridiculous oversight). Still I look rather dashing even when slumming it as a minion.

Next it was time to play. Maggie suggested Mario Cart.

She claimed she was has talent at this game and would show me how to play but I won every race right from the start.

Clearly she is deluded over her talent at the game, when I pointed this out she seemed rather upset but one patiently explained that after all one is King. So naturally superior to her in every way.

My favourite circuits were the snowy ones (particularly the one with penguins) - here is me mastering DK's Snowboarding track

.

So ultimately I ruled and Maggie drooled (Kateri says it was more crying than drooling but if so I think it was tears of joy at witnessing such greatness).

Don't worry minions once she stopped crying I let her have one of the Royal chocolate coins to show her what a wonderful and benevolent King I really am.

Your benevolent and mighty ruler,

King Dumbledore

Calendar Credits

December

Of course being the King means I get to give a Christmas Message... I'll need ot think carefully about what I want to tell you all about my wonderful year...

November

October

September

“Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a bath and a glass of wine"

At least according to St. Thomas Aquinas.
I am saddened when I must leave my adoring minions.
However I will take St Thomas's advice and
have a good soak,

some sleep


and a box of chocolate (I'm King and I don't do wine).

August

Spotted

Ten extra minion points* to anyone who can spot the polarbear.
*Minion points can not be exchanged for any goods made from or related to chocolate.

Bejewelled

I have new crown jewels. Bow all before my majesty.

Expenses

My loyal minions.

I know I have been quiet and have not regaled you with the tales from my royal household. This is merely due to some serious issues I have had to address. I have had to investigate some illegal expenses claims made by my representatives. It appears that my loyal team have been siphoning off extra chocolate biscuits and brownies from the royal mint to have with their "second breakfast" I can assure you there will be no more flagrant abuse of my chocolate accounting procedures.

Having now resolved that issue. I have embarked on my Royal Summer Tour of 2009 with three of my most loyal minions. I believe there will be chocolate cake in my honour on Friday (one of the minions has requested one for me specially on her birthday) and then we will be touring this fine nation. No chocolate shop shall go unsullied.

Your benevolent and mighty ruler,

King Dumbledore

July

June

May

Does a bear s*** in the woods?

Not this polar bear.

This polar bear visits a fully plumbed, flushing, running water, locking, clean convenience.

Nothing so uncivilized as a wood for the royal behind. Thank you very much.

*ahem* do you mind looking the other way, I'm busy here.

It is essential to keep one's paws clean for all that chocolate. No nasty bugs on me!

One always enjoys a blow dry to add that extra fluffiness element

One last check in the mirror to ensure 100% perfection! I'm ready to face my adoring minions once again.

Dispatches

My normal minions have gone on a scouting mission to Wisconsin. I have heard tell that the one named Palin is no longer a possible threat to my polar bear brethren but I felt that I needed first hand evidence that the believer Obama truly is the "ruler" of the United States (obviously I am supreme ruler of all the known universe but I cannot deal with the nitty gritty so I allow those mere humans to play the game of "politics".)

Since I would not wish to fend for myself for this time I have come to the safe haven that is my second most loyal minions. They treat me with great respect. They have even purchased rather fetching carrying devices, matching ones too. Not sure I care for the colour but I must admit I can be seen in a crowd which suits me just fine.

April

Corporate Sponsorship

As you, my loyal followers and minions, know I am grand overlord and benevolent (when it suits me) ruler of all that I survey.

I rule not only the lowly peoples of this world but also receive tribute from the many corporate entities who benefit from my kindly and supportive rule. On a recent tour I was given a substantial tribute by one of the largest corporations that support me.

Here I am at a Starbucks receiving one very large gold covered chocolate coin (the best kind) and a very welcoming Hot Chocolate on a rather chilly, even for this handsome polar bear, morning.