June

May

Does a bear s*** in the woods?

Not this polar bear.

This polar bear visits a fully plumbed, flushing, running water, locking, clean convenience.

Nothing so uncivilized as a wood for the royal behind. Thank you very much.

*ahem* do you mind looking the other way, I'm busy here.

It is essential to keep one's paws clean for all that chocolate. No nasty bugs on me!

One always enjoys a blow dry to add that extra fluffiness element

One last check in the mirror to ensure 100% perfection! I'm ready to face my adoring minions once again.

Dispatches

My normal minions have gone on a scouting mission to Wisconsin. I have heard tell that the one named Palin is no longer a possible threat to my polar bear brethren but I felt that I needed first hand evidence that the believer Obama truly is the "ruler" of the United States (obviously I am supreme ruler of all the known universe but I cannot deal with the nitty gritty so I allow those mere humans to play the game of "politics".)

Since I would not wish to fend for myself for this time I have come to the safe haven that is my second most loyal minions. They treat me with great respect. They have even purchased rather fetching carrying devices, matching ones too. Not sure I care for the colour but I must admit I can be seen in a crowd which suits me just fine.

April

Corporate Sponsorship

As you, my loyal followers and minions, know I am grand overlord and benevolent (when it suits me) ruler of all that I survey.

I rule not only the lowly peoples of this world but also receive tribute from the many corporate entities who benefit from my kindly and supportive rule. On a recent tour I was given a substantial tribute by one of the largest corporations that support me.

Here I am at a Starbucks receiving one very large gold covered chocolate coin (the best kind) and a very welcoming Hot Chocolate on a rather chilly, even for this handsome polar bear, morning.

Benevolence

In my role as benevolent leader I have taken on the duty of learning from those who came before my most majestic self.

In my study of Marie Antoinette I feel I am able to enhance her policy of "let them eat cake". Quite obviously where she went wrong is that she should have stated "let them eat chocolate cake".

This is one of the founding principles of my dominion. Chocolate cake for all, so long as I have the largest slice.

March

The Royal Mint

My royal mint is effective but sometimes it is a nuisance having to carry around all of those heavy gold coins. It seems that my minions find it makes their bags too heavy to carry and being the benevolent leader I am I have decided to use printed money. I don't normally do tasks for myself but I would never give my PIN to any of my mere minions, the accounts are full of my hard collected donations from my devoted minions.

February

Here is the calendar entry for Feb - so true!