New slaves to do my bidding

Finally after months of trying to convince them the humans have finally got me rat slaves. These two little critters can do my bidding and fetch me food! There does seem to be a small problem right now where they eat the food rather than pass it on to their King but this will change soon enough!

Retro Bear

Once again Dumbledore has infiltrated my defences and has managed to snaffle yet more chocolate based treats. This time he managed to get hold of my current favourite retro chocolate bar, the Wispa. Good job my security cameras are around to capture the incident. Not to worry though, my intrepid guard baby managed to run him down and get him nice and sticky, well stickier than he was after eating the chocolate. He may be a mighty polar bear but not as mighty as a baby who is learning to crawl.

Royal visit to the Dounby Show

Welcome to another thrilling excerpt from my life. I know you inferior humans like to read about my glorious fun so you can give meaning to your otherwise drab existence so I will regal you with the tale of my royal visit to Dounby show.

Dounby is a town in Orkney and the show is an opportunity to meet all the players in the area and catch up on the latest gossip. As you’d expect I enjoyed conversations with many of my loyal animal subjects. I am sure that these sheep will remember this moment for the rest of their limited existence.The local dogs performed for my pleasure. There did not appear to be much plot to their show but they put their heart into it and enthusiastically led their humans around a obstacle course.Like all good local shows a large attraction was the rides. I too love a good tea cup ride and I also really enjoyed the swing ride. I had ordered a royal video of the event but my PR lackey feels that not everyone would appreciate me going round in circles for a minute. I would urge you to campaign for your right to see this momentous movie, I think it’s a shocking piece of censorship that I am not being allowed to share it with you and make your dull little lives a bit brighter.

Adieu,
King Dumbledore